The Control Myth - Wrinkled Brows

Wrinkled Brows is a Monday series on a word or quote of interest (perhaps only to me.)


Control:  to regulate, dominate, rule, direct, or to have influence over


There is a catchy country-western song (I believe sung by Tim McGraw) which says:


"I like it
             I love it
                        I want some more of it..."


And although the song is referring to something else entirely, I think the same could often be said of our desire for control.  We like it, we love it, we want some more of it, if at all possible.  Of course, maybe that's just me.


I grew up in a household where there was little control.  Dad could not control his drinking.  Mom could not control dad.  And we kids could not control the fact that we moved every other month (okay that is an exaggeration, but not too far off the mark) and thus had few friends and no stability to speak of.


The upshot of that kind of childhood is that I can tend to be a bit of what is euphemistically called a "control freak."  I like to know what is going to happen well before it actually occurs; and it will not surprise you to learn that I hate surprises.  If possible, rather than just knowing what is about to happen, I like to be the one to decide what is going to happen, as well as determine when and where.


Guesswork is anathema to me.  "Ball-parking" it gives me the heebie-jeebies.  When I ran a corporate office, they liked to talk about taking a  "S.W.A.G." at something.  This denoted a super wild-a-- guess.  Now I really despised those.  How could you carve out a budget, determine a project timeline, or deliver a product based on "swags"?  It was beyond me, but I learned to live with it because I really had no choice.  And very little control.  Yuck!


Ah me, there are so many things over which we have so little control:  age, gender, height, weight, oh wait, I guess that one is actually within our control, more or less.  Where we would be born, who our parents would be, and on and on.


Psychologists tell us that of all the variables in our lives, we actually have true control over only about two-percent of them.  What!  Two-measly percent?  How can that be?  How do we cope with that? 
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Well, here is a thought.  Perhaps the well-ordered life is more about contemplation that control.  Possibly surrender brings about more peace than constant wrestling for supremacy over our circumstances.  It is just possible that control belongs to Someone else. Someone who can handle it a whole lot better than I can.


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But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? "Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'Why did you make me like 
this?' "  ( Romans 9:21 NIV)


So today, if you "have it all under control" more power to you.  The rest of us are still working on it.  Until next time ... Marsha