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Saturday, January 26, 2013

The Grabber - Tool or Weapon ?

Pine_cone : Two big pine cones on the white background
The weather has been a little warmer this week, and we have had some breaks in the rain.  This means it is time to go out and begin to clean up all the pine tree debris that has landed during the last round of rain storms.  Pine cones, pine needles, and branches are an ever present chore waiting to be tackled.

The first few times the *LOC and I picked up pine cones, we both hobbled back into the house after a couple of hours of vigorous pine cone retrieval, as bent over as the hunchback of Notre Dame. The share price of ibuprofen products ticked up nicely that week, let me tell you.

But we cannot simply allow the things to pile up or soon we could not navigate the yard.  If you inadvertently step on one, well, you may end up sitting near it upon your own backside.  They roll when stepped upon creating a real hazard for the ankles.  At this point, my ankles have enough issues without aggravating them, thank you very much.

Fortunately, there is help at hand.  It is a wonderful little contraption called "the grabber".  It is yet further evidence that your local hardware store is the best establishment you can possibly frequent.  They have absolutely everything at the hardware store.  (With the exception of good deli sandwiches.) I could spend hours just wandering up and down the aisles, and sometimes do.

The grabber allows one to grasp a handle, which opens and closes, and is cleverly affixed to a three foot long pole, at the end of which is a set of pincer-like prongs operated by the handle at the top.  With this handy-dandy tool I can pick up pine cones without bending over very far. In fact, given that I am somewhat height challenged, I hardly have to bend at all.  

If I had to guess, I would imagine that this little gem is the best selling product around our little mountain hamlet, at least among the geriatric set.  Why this thing has undoubtedly saved its users untold tens of thousands of dollars in chiropractic treatments, liniments and ointment rubs, herniated discs and ruptured what nots.  The device is too marvelous for words; and I am sure the inventor must now be a jillionaire.  Deservedly so.

Once the little grabber was discovered, why picking up pine cones became quite pleasant.  Child's play, really.  That is until the *LOC got out of line and called me a party-pooper. What, you may logically ask, does picking up pine cones have to do with party pooper-ing?  Good question.  It is only in retrospect that I have sorted it out.
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The other afternoon, the LOC and I went out to companionably share yard duty.  While I was grabbing cone after cone in one area, he was industriously scooping up pine needles across the yard, as he listened to music on his headset.  They have these little paddles with teeth especially for this purpose (no, not on the headsets, silly, on the pine needle scoopers) because pine needles do not rake up well.  And clearly they cannot be grabbed. 

Every so often he would shout to me, across the yard, calling out some song or other that was currently playing, asking whether I remembered that one.  Generally I did, but occasionally I just nodded and kept grabbing, regardless of whether memory served.  Nightfall was coming and I still had forty thousand or so pine cones to pick up before dark.

Suddenly the *LOC shouts to me something about " Just wanna' have fun?" - grinning like a lunatic.  While I might under some circumstances agree, I really didn't think it was any of the neighbors' business and given his volume level I didn't see how they could possibly not hear him, so I ignored him.  A couple of minutes later he called out again along the same line.

I was by then getting ticked and paused to give him the stink eye.  I mean really, some people have no sense of time and place.  He looked puzzled, if not downright hurt.

I turned back to my grabbing, muttering to myself about foolish old men who cannot even do yard work without letting their thoughts wander in untoward directions, when he suddenly shouts out again, even louder this time, which I hardly thought possible.

I whirled around, prepared to step lively over to his vicinity and share an opinion or two with him, when he calls out, "Cindi Lauper -  girls just wanna have fun.  Remember that one?"

I was so irked that I was tempted to have an untoward thought or two myself, in terms of what purpose might the grabber serve other than just pinching pine cones.

But really, what was the point?  So I just shook my head in the negative and waved him off.  At that point, he shook his own head, and said, "Party pooper."  I think he thought he was muttering under his breath, but his headphones were turned up so loud, that he sounded more like he was trying to call down fire out of heaven.

Meanwhile, he was now raking with rhythm -feet moving, hips swaying, scoopers swishing - just having a fine old time over in his quadrant; whereas I was now thoroughly miffed at having been misjudged.

Smarting from the put down, I dragged my wheelbarrow over to his blind side, but overcame the temptation to acquaint him with my grabber in heretofore unknown ways. Instead I tossed the grabber onto the mere twenty thousand pine cones I had managed to grab, and stomped off to the kitchen. Let the remaining twenty thousand do their worst to whomever happened to be in the yard.
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Later, I could not help but sadly recall that wisdom laden line from Cool Hand Luke. "What we have here is a failure to communicate."
Ya think?  :)
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Hope your pine cones are staying on the limb, and that no one has risked life and limb trying to communicate with you today.  Until next time ... Marsha
(*Lovable Old Coot - in this case, clearly a misnomer.)

21 comments:

  1. Oh, I could imagine the scene vividly as I read through it, thanks to your great descriptions!

    My dad has one of those grabbers and loves it. I'm glad it's helping you solve the pine cone problem. We don't have those down here, but we do have mesquite beans that will be making their entrance in the next month or so.

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  2. Mesquite beans? Do you bake 'em, broil 'em, light 'em up, or what?

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    1. Some people make things like jelly out of them, and the cows and horses like to much on them, and you can burn them, but mostly I just rake them up and throw them out. They fall off the mesquite trees and end up all over the place~

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    2. They come in a hard pod about 4"- 6" long and aren't as aesthetically pleasing as a pine cone might be~

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    3. Thanks for the info, Shelly. Trust me, pine cones are only aesthetically pleasing when they are spray painted silver and gold and placed in a holiday arrangement. Otherwise, they are just plain dangerous. Just saying .... :)

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  3. I can just about picture your loc dancing along while he worked - he must have been quite enjoying himself. :)
    Your grabber tool sound quite handy - we have a shop like that in town. It is amazing the things it sells.

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    1. Ellie, Don't you just love those hardware shops? If I were ten years younger, I think I would just buy one and run it for the sheer fun of it! :)

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  4. Loved this story!
    I have a grabber myself - I use it to grab things off the top shelf of my over the stairs pantry. I'm not too tall and it beats crawling up into it!
    Some of the residents in the nursing home I work in have them too, and they are occasionally used to grab us!

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    1. Mari,
      Hope you are adroit at avoiding those roaming grabbers. Goodness, the job hazards that come with your line of work!

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  5. That is great! However, what you described is what we call a "pooper scooper" and I use it regularly to pick up the little gifts our dog Trudy leaves in our back yard. I think what your husband was doing was the equivalent of "whistle while you work" and wanted to share his fun with you. Your neighbors are probably jealous.

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    1. Nonnie,
      I expect you are right, but the LOC almost whistled himself right into the dog house ... and we don't even have one! :)

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  6. Oh dear! It took me quite a while to stop laughing at this story - but when I did, I heard your *lesson* loud and clear. My husband and I have not yet gone out on Pine Cone Patrol (though we should, no doubt). But, the part about miscommunication? Yup, got that one nailed. I've been a cranky old bear lately, and I'm sure my husband has risked his life and limb to talk to me. I'm thinking that maybe this ol' girl just needs to have some fun...

    GOD BLESS!

    (p.s. Do you get "killer" pine cones like we do? Ours are like 10" long and 6 or 7" wide, and they weigh a ton!! One of the locals just told me that they've nicknamed them "Widow Makers" - hmmm. Doesn't sound like the Grabber would work on these puppies. Maybe a steam shovel??)

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    1. Sharon - So glad you got a good laugh out of this one. Providing a smile or two occasionally is one of the two primary reasons that I blog.

      Yes, we do have those killer-cones. AND they have really nasty "spikes" or hook-like points on the ends of each petal of the cone- so they hurt when you attempt to pick them up without gloves on.

      Yeah - now that you mention it, a steam shovel is probably a good idea. :)

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  7. Hee hee you are so funny. Enjoyed this read very much. I think I know what I might have grabbed with the grabber if I had been that mad. I'm glad that you can laugh about it now. When you have picked up your 400000 pine cones what do you do with them then?
    We are being buffeted by cyclonic weather at the moment. After months of drought now we are under water again, like 2 years ago. By we I mean the east coast of Queensland and NSW. Ooops the power just went off lucky my computer went over to battery. I'd better go find a torch.

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  8. I have a grabber too. I think my husband got tired of me calling to get things off of shelves.
    If there were one pine cone on the ground my foot would hit it. Good job keeps the premises safe!

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  9. Marsha, thanks for stopping by my blog! I've enjoyed reading your posts and getting to know you. We have many pinecones also but they don't seem to make a mess and I only gather them when I want some for decorations. My Mom has a grabber and she loves it and uses it in her yard...she's 86yrs young and I give her credit for just getting outside! I laughed at your communication gap..yep, it happens in every relationship! Have a good week!

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  10. Marsha, thanks for stopping by my blog! I've enjoyed reading your posts and getting to know you. We have many pinecones also but they don't seem to make a mess and I only gather them when I want some for decorations. My Mom has a grabber and she loves it and uses it in her yard...she's 86yrs young and I give her credit for just getting outside! I laughed at your communication gap..yep, it happens in every relationship! Have a good week!

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  11. LOL - and I have two grabbers! I love them - one for upstairs and one for downstairs...

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  12. We have so many pine cones in our yard I just run over them with the riding lawnmower :) I had to smile at the Failure to Communicate. If I had a nickel...........

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  13. That pine cone grabber and dancing in the yard must have been entertaining to see, and all the hollering.

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  14. Thank you Marsha for stopping by my blog!
    I love your blog and the way you write, it's so cozy and comforting! <3

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