Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Grumpier Old Ladies

Folks, I am just going to have to admit, up front, that the *LOC has had a rough couple of mornings already this week, and it is only Wednesday. (He could use some prayer, if you're a mind to ...)

Yesterday, we each had to go to the lab for routine blood draws.  It has never happened before, that we each needed to go on the same day, but yesterday we did.

To be clear, we are not sick, just old enough that, much like older vehicles that need a little more maintenance after a 100K on the old engine, we need a little more maintenance /upkeep.

So here was the rough part.  These were those dratted "fasting" blood tests; no food, no water for twelve hours before the test.  This meant that we got up yesterday and had to actually figure out how to get ourselves washed, teeth brushed, and dressed - find the garage, where we hoped the car was still parked- and all manner of incredibly complex efforts had to be undertaken without the aid of either hot tea or hot coffee. 

I don't mind going twelve hours without food, but tea or coffee?  Come on.

Well, let me tell you, it was a madhouse around here yesterday morning.  It is a blinking miracle that one of us didn't wind up in the hospital.  Just saying ...

"Where's the toothpaste?"

"How would I know?"  (I frankly don't know my own middle name when I have not yet had a cup of tea to get the old synapse firing.)

"Is the back door locked?"  (I am not even sure where the back door is - remember - I have had no tea!)

To make matters worse, the faucet on my sink - we have a dual sink vanity in the master bathroom - is not working, the plumber is not due for another day or two, so the LOC had turned off the water under that sink.  I am schlepping stuff back and forth between the master bathroom and the hall bath where the faucet is working.

I may be only half-awake; but even in that pitiable state I have better sense than to try to share one little sink with a guy over six feet tall, with shoulders the size of small boulders.

In the midst of my somnambulant schlepping, the LOC asks kindly, "Would it help if I turned the water back on at your sink?"

"No, thanks.  More trouble than its worth", I mumble.

Two more trips back and forth, got the moisturizer, but forgot the Revitalift - and believe me, today I need all the "lift" that face cream can give me.

"Are you sure it wouldn't be better if I just turned that faucet back on for a few minutes?  It's not leaking that badly."

"No, thank you."  Somehow "thank you" didn't sound very grateful.

Two more trips, got the brush, forgot the hand-mirror.

"I'd be glad to turn that faucet .."

"For crying out loud, would you just forget about that faucet and let's get going."  No gratitude at all, this time.

He made some sotto voce comment about "grumpy old women" - I offered a rejoinder about people who "can't take no for an answer" and so it went.

Well, we got to the lab, they drained our veins, and we repaired to the Kalico Kitchen - and none too soon.  I grabbed a stray coffee carafe on our way to our table and just chugged it straight down without a cup.  (Well, I thought about doing that.)

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Then came this morning.  After yesterday's bumpy - not to say grumpy - start, I was determined to be well organized, on-task and on time.  Places to go, people to see, etc.

I was in the shower (more or less on time after two really good cups of tea) and humming with satisfaction at how smoothly the day had begun.

"Not so fast", says the imp assigned to our address.

Is that the phone I hear ringing?

"Marsha, you're wanted on the phone."

I thought to myself, "What, exactly, am I supposed to do about it right this second?"  But the LOC only hears me half the time when I am standing right next to him, so there is no point in shouting this through the bathroom door.

I jumped out of the shower, dried off and robed quickly, and asked "What?"  As if the phone call were his planned interruption to my little humming episode. He is "0h-for-two" these two mornings.

He said M. called and would I call her back right away.
Made the call and learned she has the flu-bug and could I fill-in for her today. I was glad to help, but so much for a smooth start.
A few minutes later, as I went flying out the door, and peeling down the driveway, there stood the LOC, smiling and waving me off.                                             
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They talk about grumpy and grumpier old men, and they even made a couple of movies about them, as I recall.  But not many people have the strength of character to deal with a truly grumpy little old lady.  Fortunately, I happen to be married to one - the Lovable Old Coot.
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Hope you haven't had your caffeine supply cut off, or been called out of the shower, or just felt irritated at the stray hang nail or pinched toes - or whatever.  But if you have, I hope someone showed you some patience today. 

Until next time - your recently grumpy, but now recovered - little old lady blogger ~ Marsha
(*Lovable Old Coot)


  1. Our men do have a a rough time with us sometimes! Thanks for the laugh. :)

    1. Trust me, the LOC was not laughing. :) But glad to give you a chuckle.

  2. Going without coffee should be against the law. With all the progress in medicine, it looks like they could invent blood tests that took coffee into account . After all, it could be dangerous to the public for some of us to go that long without caffeine :)

    1. I don't know about a public danger, but it could sure as heck be a private danger - to the LOC ! :)

  3. Matt and I go regularly to get blood drawn. We get up shortly before our appointment (used not to have appointments and we had to get up really early to get there first) throw on our clothes and get down there. We do all the cleaning up etc. when we get home again.

  4. Lol! I always thought coffee or tea black with no sweetener or creamer was okay before blood draw. :-/ I have been guilty of being the grump, but today DH is taking the prize! Have a good one. Hope you get the faucet fixed!

  5. I still think men win when it comes to being grumpy. So it doesn't matter for them to get a dose of grumpy old women now and then.