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Saturday, September 19, 2015

Cruising Toward Contentment

I have been absent for a bit, not because I did not think of you, but because I have been "out of touch".  Such a quaint phrase.  It used to simply mean that one did not have the thread of the current situation.

Now, in this day of 24/7 connectivity, it generally implies that one has been disconnected from social media and ordinary contact.  It is difficult to find a place on the planet that is cut-off from such communication, but we managed. 

We spent the past eight days aboard a cruise ship, and while Wi-Fi was available, the cost was so ridiculous that we stoutly abstained from using it for the duration of the trip.  You could send a student to university for an entire year for what one week's worth of connectivity would set you back on that overgrown dinghy.  Okay, so that is hyperbole, but not by a whole lot.

I somewhat enjoyed the "unplugged" experience.  But the *LOC was pretty twitchy, and it took him the first three days to realize that he could not reprogram the remote for the TV. Then, to add insult to injury, he discovered that four of the ten measly, pre-set, channels were sales pitches from the cruise line, run on a continuous loop, and, well, I had to exit the cabin while he regained control of his attitude.

Frankly, we have been wined and dined - ad infinitum ad nauseum - such that I have sworn off of all sauces, gravy, drizzles, and toppings for the rest of my natural life.  I kid you not.  I am now permanently topped off.

Furthermore, I have made the intimate acquaintance of people I had no wish to know.  You cannot remain strangers when twenty plus members of humanity are crammed into one glass-encased elevator.

The invasion of my personal space was annoying enough; but inevitably one of my fellow "crammees" thought they should attempt to tell me their life story in the three point two seconds it took to rise from Deck X to Deck Y.

These mini-bios were generally routine, but occasionally turned terrifyingly bizarre.  In such moments I was faced with the stark reality that there was no place to run. Land was a distant memory and the experience at sea was not proving to be particularly rewarding. 
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We do have perfectly sane friends who have taken quite a number of cruises and generally report their experience was wonderful.

Good for them.

We were asked, not infrequently, if this was our first cruise.  (I do not know if we were giving off some oddly confused vibe or not, but it is entirely possible, as I was admittedly disoriented much of the time.)

Whenever we admitted that it was, indeed, our first cruise, we were treated to titters and smirks as though the group had just unwittingly stumbled across the proverbial "40-year old virgin."

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We have concluded that we are just not cruise people.  We do not cruise.  It just isn't for us.

For us, the whole "a sailing we shall go" thing was a "one and done." 

So last evening we heaved two, simultaneous, huge sighs of blessed relief.  We were home.  The floor was firm beneath our tread.  The windows could all be flung wide open. And our respective recliners were right where we had left them.  Hooray!

We do not begrudge those who love to cruise their fun.  We, however, have cruised right into our very own little safe harbor.  And we are content.
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Hope your harbor is peaceful this evening.  Until next time, your fellow traveler (but not your fellow sailor) ~ Marsha
(*Lovable Old Coot)

15 comments:

  1. I love your brand of humor. I totally agree with you about cruising. We took one and I said if only God would get me back on dry land I would not ask for such an adventure again. Maybe dry land adventures but not the water variety....Glad you are back safe and sound and no worse for the wear.....

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    1. Nancy - Thanks for the comments - it is good to know that I am not entirely alone in my
      lack of enthusiasm for cruising. As for not being any the worse for wear - well, it depends
      on your definition of worse.... I am not better for the trip - of THAT I am sure. :)

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  2. We've never been on a cruise, and so far haven't been tempted to. I like the earth beneath my feet. :)

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    1. I had no idea how unappealing the continuous "rock and roll" of the voyage would prove to be. Of course, I had taken Dramaine with us, and I took it as needed. Thankfully, I wasn't
      really ill - just disoriented with the motion sickness / dizziness. Unnerving, more than
      anything. I like having my wits about me, and that definitely was NOT the case.

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  3. I lived on a boat for a large part of my life. About 15 years ago we went on a cruise and loved it. The food was fabulous and we enjoyed every bit of it. We subsequently went on a short cruise to the Bahamas 2 days on the island and 4 or 5 hours on the ship each way. Loved that too. Unfortunately, unable to afford to go any more or we would like a shot.

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    1. Well, Jo, good for you. Honestly, I cannot even imagine living on the sea. But obviously your imagination is a lot better than mine is. :)

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  4. Marsha! Marsha! Marsha!
    You are a hoot!
    Not everyone is intended to be a Sea Farer
    I've only been on one cruise, a long time a ago.
    i guess I'm a semi-virgin.

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    1. Sweet Tea, Yep, I guess you would be a semi-v. :)

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  5. I am one who gladly learns from the experiences of others. I have long suspected that cruising is much as you have described it and I thank you for the validation. No cruises in my future!

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    1. THANK YOU! Some people have told me I am an ingrate, and clearly do not know how to enjoy the good life. Can't help it - I will still NEVER take another cruise. :) Just sayin'

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  6. I love this. I always wanted to go on a cruise, but the older I get, I can't help but wonder "why?". I think I'd hate it. I am enjoying my cozy little abode far too well these days. Thanks for sharing your experience.

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  7. Say What - You are a woman wise beyond your years. Stay put and enjoy!

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  8. I had to laugh at your descriptions. I've never been on a cruise but so many friends and family love them. My husband gets sea sick and has never wanted to risk wasting his vacation getting sick. So we've always flown or driven to where we've gone to vacation.

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  9. I love your humour. So cruising is off the itinerary from now on. But you've got to try it once. We are not keen on sea cruises but we enjoy river cruising.

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  10. Loved your "trip adviser" commentary! My one and only cruse was a 13 day trip that included Italy, Greece and Turkey. My husband refused to go so my daughter was my shipmate. I enjoyed it, but I can understand why it's not for every one. If I had do-overs, I think I'd rather pick one destination and explore it rather then trying to cram sightseeing into the time they give you at each port. Glad your feet are on terra firma!

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