How Little We Change

It has been three weeks since our move, and while several rooms in the house now actually resemble a home, there are still pockets of chaos here and there.  Stacks, piles, clumps.

Because we sincerely hope that this was our last move (except for when it comes time for "movin' on up" :) we are taking the time to sort things that have not seen the light of day in decades.  We are finally doing the "three piles" exercise:  donate, discard, keep.  The objective is to make the "keep" pile the smallest of the three.

And thus today I came across a list, from 1984 no less, of things I wanted to accomplish that year.  Some items on the list had to do with relationships, some had to do with budget planning, and some were simple household projects I wanted to take care of.

As I read down the list, I was struck by how similar it was to lists I have made just this past week or month or year.  I did not know whether to smile or sigh.  Twenty seven years have gone by since I wrote that list. 

• New picture over the fireplace.

Just yesterday I gave away the one that used to hang over our fireplace in Sacramento.  Now I am looking for a new one that better suits our new home. 

• Pray for healing and health for "X."

Still praying for that individual.  Relationships I am still working on.  Personal faults I am still trying to eliminate or at least minimize.

Oh, here was one that did make me smile.  It read: 

• Lose fifteen pounds. 

Well, just recently I actually have, through no focused effort of mine other than "fetching and carrying" as I care for a family member with an extended health problem.

I guess what I realized most clearly in reading that old list on yellowed paper was that I have not changed very much in nearly three decades.  I hoped that I had, but I was kidding myself.

Briefly I recalled seminars I have attended, books I have read, papers I have written, all in the hopes of becoming someone other than who I was.  Someone "more than", someone better.

And yet here I am, looking at most of my life in the rear view mirror these days.  And apparently, based upon the lists I used to develop and the ones I still make; I am very much the same person I was in 1984.

How can that be?  I went back to school in 1987, obtained two college degrees, three national certifications, taught seminars, earned money, traveled far and wide, made an impact (or so I have been told) on a fair number of folks' lives.

And yet here I am.  Still pretty much the same me.

It now, belatedly, occurs to me that there is something a good deal more important than who I am, or who I was. A much more vital thing is to allow Him, to make of me what He will.  It is less about effort, and more about surrender.

How different might these past years have been if I had recognized that fact a little sooner.  Talk about a late-bloomer!

Hope you are moving in a good direction this week, and allowing Him to guide you in that effort.  I am still learning as I go... Until next time ...Marsha
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"But who are you, oh man, to talk back to God?  Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?' Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?" Romans 9:20-21 NIV